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| I am not weak. But I am to you. Not easily swayed. But I have been by you. I have let you in, as I surely knew I shouldn't have-- though still do
But it's happened and here we are So I ask that you take these scars With the memories, and the love. I know now I've had enough
That is the biggest lesson after all Knowing when to end the fall And when to let loose, let go And that-- I surely know.
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| As if juggling in life isn't hard enough, I suddenly got frustrated with the silliest thing: multiple online communities and the accounts I maintain on them. I won't name the older ones but recently there's Myspace, Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, and... Facebook? Yes, that's right I got frustrated with that! Apparently there's a limit to the number of friends we can have on our personal profiles so I went back to my fan-page, hoping to use it like a regular personal page but the functions are different. Ugh. I hate change and the efforts behind it all. I need a hub! The good news is, KRISTINESA.COM will be given a makeover very soon. However, until then, if you're lovely enough to search for me, when in doubt just put "kristinesa" at the ends of URLS. That should work. See you guys in cyberspace.
http://myspace.com/kristinesa http://xanga.com/kristinesa http://youtube.com/kristinesa http://twitter.com/kristinesa http://facebook.com/kristinesa1 (this one's special. ;p)
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| I was asked a very relevant question just now. May I share?
So in a nutshell, please Facebook befriend me here. Please and thanks: http://facebook.com/kristinesa1
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|  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZwd_vVAAgU]
November 2009. I've had some time to work on my own things lately and it's been such a beautiful relief to turn back to music. This song was written during a dark time, as you probably can guess, and it's always been my style to write things that I cannot say or am not allowed to say. It was in hopes of dispelling the uglies and crazies in my head. I'm glad to say that music therapy does work (for me anyway). Special thanks to Tony T. Nguyen for working his dramatic arrangement magic. That entire intro was his cinematic touch. It really carried my ideas for the images along. Thanks to TDMEDIA/Tam Doan Ent.'s recording studio for being open to my nutso work. Thanks to anh Matt Dung Nguyen for his ample support and assistance. I suppose I should thank the many 'Kristines' that worked on this song with me: the ones that sang the back-up vocals, the one that directed, edited, and executed this video, and the one that wouldn't stop singing from the corner of the room. Of course, as always, I thank you for taking your time to watch this song and share these strange moments with me. This asylum isn't so lonely after all.
With much crazy love, Kristine
"LONELY ASYLUM" Written & performed by KRISTINE SA Arrangement by Tony T. Nguyen
For better or worse, I am here now. With a handful of words I'm not allowed To utter for reasons I don't understand So I swallow them down as best I can Even though I've figured it all out
You're not in love with me, you're in love with Kristine And I know exactly what she's done to you But when you fall for her, you end up with me And I hate to be the one to give you the news...
She's not real, she never was-- even if you wait she'll never be She's not real, all you get is me She's not real, she never was-- All you're seeing is your fantasy She's not real, all you get is me And my love. Is that enough?
I can still taste every bit of hurt You left me here for better or worse With a handful of questions I don't comprehend Without trace of an answer once again And I'm sad to say-- you're not the first.
You're not in love with me you're in love with Kristine That's how it's always been And I know exactly what she can do Don't fall for her. 'Cause you'll be left with me And I hate to be the only one who knows This bit of truth
She's not real, she never was-- even if you wait she'll never be She's not real, all you get is me She's not real, she never was-- All you're seeing is your fantasy She's not real, all you get is me And my love Is that enough for you Underneath your beloved ingenue Is a girl still helplessly on her knees On a stage unlit, when the thunder hits She cries and cries and cries Will you be the first to recognize...
She's not real, she never was-- even if I wait she'll never be She's not real, all I am is me She's not real, she never was-- All I'm seeing is my fantasy She's not real, all I am is me And will that ever be enough?
(teardrops on a rosy bed, I am always waiting teardrops on a rosy bed, I am always here.)
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| Life got hard again. Real hard. It's been beating me up. I've made some choices and I'm getting hit left, right, and centre for them. I'm weaker than I'd like to be right now. I'm more of a coward than I ever want to accept. I shamefully admit that I want the goods without paying the price-- but I do know better than to expect that. I am lonely. No matter how far I go from this feeling, I always come home to it. Is this my home? The loneliness? Sometimes I wonder if I was born in it.
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Confused: http://www.facebook.com/kr